30 Weeks.

Feeling our little wiggle worm move around is amazing, don't get me wrong, but I've gotten to the point where every movement is uncomfortable and I just want to see her moving around in the world.

The little one in my belly has been very active for the past couple of weeks. Like, she doesn't stop moving. She also gets the hiccups 2-3 times a day. We're measuring at just over 37 inches around. Big ladies over here.

With only 9 weeks (or less!) to go, I've got my mind set on a 12 pack of Pepsi or Coke or Dr. Pepper and half a dozen pink sprinkle donuts. (My most prevalent cravings as of late.)

Dear Sweet Baby, 

This week time I'll keep it short. We can't wait to see you. I want you to keep growing and developing beautifully, but I cannot wait for you to be in my arms. 

P.S. I love your little feet, but my ribs don't quite love their presence. 

Love, Mama.

Over a cup of hot chocolate..

Or orange juice or Dr. Pepper or whatever either of us are craving at the moment...

I would tell you that the holidays are making me extra happy this year.

Maybe it's the anticipation of our first Thanksgiving with our families in California in two years,

or maybe it's knowing that our sweet baby will be joining us in the flesh in the new year.

I would tell you that growing a baby is exhausting,

but it is the single most amazing thing I've ever done, and I don't think anything I do will ever top this.

I would tell you that I am so proud of my husband for the time and effort he puts into his schooling and his commitment to his role in the ROTC is inspiring. I also love how he is able

to provide for our family with his job at a little hospital.

I would probably tell you about the glorious plans I have for our baby's nursery corner in our room. And then I would probably begin to slightly freak out because I'd realize how much we still have to get before our girl gets here in two short months.

And of course, I'd want to know how you were, what your holiday plans are, what is on your mind or on your heart. Because I do want to know and I do care and I love how interacting with one another at this time of year feels especially cozy and all sorts of pleasant. 

Playing catch-up

I've been really, really bad about posting these, but I did remember to drag Matt out to snap a few pictures of my growing body.

Week 24 (Photos via Samantha Gillis Photography)

My old friend Samantha surprised me with her presence at the 

baby shower my sister threw me when we were in California last month.

She gave me a priceless gift of a maternity photo shoot. 

We rounded up a few gifts from the shower and headed down to the river.

I love this girl's work. If you're in the market for a photographer in the 

Fresno area, get in touch with her here.

Week 25

Week 26

(This is my face trying reeeally hard not to be mad at Matt. It obviously didn't work too well.)

Those bad mood pregnancy hormones hit me hard.

The beauty of nature: noted.

Today it snowed. 

All day. 

And this time it was beautiful.

We embraced it and loved it up and down for the

perfect excuse to stay cozy and lazy inside

with homemade chocolate chip cookies.

Dear Baby,

October 28, 2012 – 25 weeks 6 days

Dear Sweet Baby,

As we approach our third trimester mark, I thought I’d let you know a few of my favorite things about you. (I can’t believe how quickly time has been passing!)

1. I love feeling you move around inside of me. I feel so connected to you every time you move.

2. I love hearing your heartbeat. We get to hear the little thump-thump every two weeks now! I look forward to my appointments for that very reason.

3. I love how you respond to your daddy’s voice. I especially love that he loves to read and talk to you whenever he gets the chance.

I don’t think my favorite things about you will change much until you’re here in my arms. Feel free to come anytime in about 10-14 weeks. We can’t wait to meet you!

Love, Mama.

Patrick Dempsy

Matt and I like to share lazy moments together when we can. The other day before a nap, we were laying in bed and he turns his phone to me to show me what I'm assuming is a picture of a cute animal or silly meme on instagram - because that's just what he does. I looked at the screen and read something to the effect of "when you dream about someone it means that person misses you." ...Um, okay. Where are you going with this?

After I read it I looked at him and he said, "Patrick Dempsy was in my dream last night!" to which I respond, "Patrick Dempsy doesn't know you."

All too quickly he says, "But he misses me!" //palm to face//

And that's a taste of what I live with. I'm pretty sure the man has more celebrity man crushes than I do.

Dear Baby - 23 weeks

Preface: I am SO bad at getting around to writing lately. I think about doing it like a hundred times a day at least, but I'm just SO busy..... lazy. I will get better at this. 

Dear baby girl,

I can't believe how much you've grown lately(!) and how much you're supposed to grow in the next few weeks alone. Um, ouch. You are stretching this belly of mine and people are noticing you! (Which kind of makes this mama uncomfortable, and a little excited to know that we're getting closer to the day that we get to meet you). You're responding to your papa's voice more now, which he really likes. He tells you to "kick mama hard" several times a day. Most of the time you do, little stinker. But maybe you're just reacting because he keeps disturbing you from your beauty rest. Rude, man. You've also been moving a lot more (when you choose, especially at night. I am learning to love waking up to your tiny kicks because it reminds me that your little body is there - happy and healthy. Keep growing and do what you've got to do, little one. We love you to the moon and back.

Love, Mama.

________________________________________________________________________

We are headed to California tomorrow for a little visit and we are SO excited... for everything except the 13 hour drive. But hey, road trip! I've got little [healthy] snacks prepared for the road - blueberries, raspberries, grapes, sandwiches - and Oreos because a girl's gotta give in every once and a while. 

My sister is throwing me a baby shower on Saturday, but other than that, we are planning on playing the rest of our activities by ear. We're just looking forward to a nice weekend home with our families, some close friends, and our animals. 

A little pregnancy update: I've finally gotten to the point where I have more clothes that don't fit me than those that do. I braved the daunting task of maternity clothes shopping yesterday for the first time. It sucked. I got two shirts. TWO! Someone fill my closet with flattering, non-materning-esque clothing, puh-lease! Pinterist up my closet! Last week I got stuck in a couple dresses. Matt had to rescue me. Not a very confidence-instilling moment, folks. Other than the wardrobe woes, and um, hello big-o thighs!, life's dandy.

That's it. 

Dear Baby

I've been trying to document my pregnancy through little notes directed to the little one growing inside of me. I know that one day these messages will be little treasures for both our baby and I, and I like the idea of having things of importance written down for me to be able to reminisce about later. Another plus is for you to keep updated with our happenings. Rather than keeping them stored in a word document on my desktop, I though I'd share my weekly letters to baby on here, too.

If I would have been more diligent about getting dressed, putting on makeup, and making my hair look decent, I would have been a little bit better about documenting the weeks in pictures. I'm working on it, okay? From here on out, once a week I'm going to try to write a "Dear Baby" post WITH pictures so we're all updated and happy. (Which I'm sure will give my husband's poor eyes a break from my usual wardrobe of sweats/pjs, messy buns, and no makeup.)

August 28, 2012 - 17 Weeks.

Dear baby,

We’re a week into our second trimester and only 3 weeks away from the halfway point. That means we only have to wait another 23 weeks to meet you! I can’t begin to describe the love that we already have for you. We think about you constantly, and even from just the smallest movements from within my tummy, we can tell that you’re going to be quite the character. Mama is sick with a cold so papa bought us some orange juice. You seemed to love it! I’ve never felt you move so much. It felt like you were doing summersaults. You’re still too little for your papa to feel you moving around, but that didn’t stop him from trying. I wonder if you can hear him tell you he loves you every day. Keep growing, my little jellybean. 

Mama

September 6, 2012 – 18 weeks 3 days

Dear Little One,

It’s amazing how much you can grow in a week. Your movements are so strong now – especially just after I’ve eaten something. You like to twist and turn and we can even feel where you are in my belly when I lay down. It makes me so happy to feel you moving and growing because I know you’re safe and happy where right where you are. In a week from tomorrow we get to find out if you’re a little girl or a little boy. Everyone is convinced you’re a boy, except for your Aunt Annie who is certain you’re a girl – or at least that’s what she’s crossing all of her fingers and toes for. Your mama and papa just want you to be healthy and happy, but we can hardly wait to find out what you are. If you’re a girl, we’ve decided on your name. If you’re a boy, you’re going to remain nameless for a little while. We’re having a difficult time finding a name to suit you. We just can’t wait to have you in our arms and to see your little face. Until then, keep growing and moving, little babe. We love you.

Mama

September 20, 2012 – 20 weeks 3 days

Dear baby,

Guess what!? We got some exciting news last week at our ultrasound. We found out that you’re a sweet little GIRL! We couldn’t be much happier. Your papa is still so excited and has been saying things like, “I can’t believe we’re having a girl!” and “I’m going to have a daughter!” We’re all smiles over here. Your grandparents and aunts and uncles are really excited, too. Being a girl in the Castellanos family is a pretty neat deal since boys seem to run on that side of the family. Both of your grandmas started shopping for cute little girl things as soon as we told them. You’re going to love this family of yours. We sure do love you tons already. You’ve been moving around more lately. You were giving some good, hard kicks/punches yesterday – so hard that your papa was able to feel them! He was so happy to finally feel you move. Today mama went to the doctor for a check-up and I got to hear your heartbeat (one of my favorite sounds now-a-days). You and I are doing wonderfully. You’re growing like a little weed now and mama is having a hard time fitting into jeans. You take growing very seriously, I can tell. Keep growing, my little gem. We can’t wait to see you!

Love, mama.

It's a........

We are so happy to find out that our jellybean is a little girl!

A few highlights from the ultrasound:

- The technician was able to tell us her gender right away. It was the first image she got. 

- Baby girl cooperated beautifully.

- We got a good look at her brain and spine - everything looks great!

- She likes to move it, move it. She's a busy lady and was showing off her talents.

- She showed us her beautiful little face, hands, and feet. 

- She has THE cutest little lips and nose.

She's pretty rad.

We're already so excited to be her parents.

A few things...

Because I know you're wondering, or asking each other, or wanting to ask us (and because we've already been asked a loooot):

When is your due date?
February 4th, 2013.

How far along are you?
19 weeks today. And I know, I know. I'll start taking weekly pictures, although I'm not showing toooo much yet so you haven't missed much. Just a tiny bump that is very slowly getting bigger. 

When do you find out what you're having?
THIS Friday! (September 14th at 3:30)

Do you want a boy or a girl?
All we really want is a healthy, happy baby. BUT everyone (our families) are hoping for a girl, even though everyone is pretty sure we'll be having a boy (boys seem to run in the Castellanos family pretty strongly). 

Are you coming home (to California) to have the baby?
No. Since we live here (in Utah) and my doctor (who I adore) is here, we will be having the baby at the University of Utah Hospital. Come visit! ;)

Was it planned?
Yes, thankyouverymuch. We've always wanted a family, which was something we found out early into our relationship three years ago. The time felt right for us to start our little family, so we did and we couldn't be happier!

Do you have names picked out?
Yes and no. We are fairly certain on a girl's name, but we're still trying to narrow down the boy options (boy's names seem to be much harder for us to decide on). We probably won't know for certain either way until we see our baby and know that the name "fits." 

Why did you keep it a secret for so long?
We didn't, really. We told our families when I was six weeks along when we were home for a short visit in June. Once we were more assured that it was looking like a healthy pregnancy, we started telling some of our extended family and close friends in California and here in Utah. Soon after people we saw on a regular basis - co-workers, people we go to church with, classmates, etc. - were told. It took a while for us to share the news via social media simply due to personal preference. It was our news to share the way we wanted to and when we wanted to. And now it's out there!


That should cover it, I think.

Little packages.

I'm still amazed by how such big, sweet spirits can come in such small packages, and how lessons (whether we know the meaning of them at first or are still waiting to find them) can be taught through those same tiny souls. 

My heart still aches for the love this sweet little one fostered within me. Small and insignificant as she may have seemed to some, she was my baby - my first baby. Looking back, I can't believe how much I learned from loving and caring for this loving soul. 

Three weeks ago tonight.

I miss her terribly. 

Baby.

The official cyber announcement. 

Baby Castellanos is expected to make his or her grand entrance into the world

around February 4, 2013. 

("2013"... I always have a hard time transitioning to saying/writing a new year.)

We, along with our families, could not be more excited!

As expected, I will be keeping the blog updated on baby's progress. 

images from a noteworthy day.

Photos from the day the little line on the stick turned blue. 

We ate breakfast as IHOP. 

Took a nap with a kitty.

Took pictures of flowers.

Took a walk downtown.

Wandered around the City Creek Mall.

Tried a new (to us) restaurant in the foodcourt.

Took more pictures of flowers.

Snapped a shot of the part of the neighborhood.

Watched a kitty play in a bag.

Took a picture of our first apartment building.

And my feet. You're welcome. 

On quitting my job.

Today I did something I don't think I'll ever regret.

I quit my job.

It's funny how you can love a brand, a store, a group of co-workers, and hate the management who governs you - management who wants to keep you around because you are of a rare few who is getting a degree and who could have an "awesome career" with their company - the same management who belittles the people who work under them and passes off the tasks their don't want to do to their employees just because they can.

Notice how quiet it's been around the blog lately? That, I blame, on being stretched thin. Between preparing for graduation, working full time, and interning at the Alzheimer's Association, I barely had time for me - or for my husband. 

I think we often get sucked into the idea that life/our career/job/etc. is as good as it's going to get.

It's not.

The past few months I've spent a lot of time thinking about the future saying things like, "when I graduate, I'll finally be able to do this ___." and "when I have more time I/we can go here ___ or do this ___ like we've been wanting to!"

While attending the wake and funeral of one of Matt's friends earlier this month, the frailty of life hit me. Questions like "why wait?" and "what do I really want out of life?" and "how can I make our life and the lives of others better?" and "how can I be better? a better person? a better wife?" Life is really too short to wait until the opportune time to change or to do the things we are passionate about. Why waste time doing things that don't make us happy, that don't fulfill and enrich our lives as they should?

I realize I am young. And I know that many people will not agree with the life that Matt and I have chosen for ourselves. I know that so many people have different opinions about how our lives should be and when we should do things. But I also have come to realize that I've been living my life for others for too long.

So I'll pursue my dreams because life is too short not to pursue your dreams, and it is much to short to spend time doing something you don't absolutely love.

I quit my job, but I am not a quitter.

a warm day in march.

The other day we took advantage of the beautiful weather (that has since decided to be snowy again) and went to a little nearby park. Mochi came along for her second outing since we got her last fall. This time she got to experience snow and enjoyed munching on the grass. It was such a tease, that weather. We're so beyond ready for some warm weather around these parts.

it seems that the weather has finally realized that spring is approaching and we did not have enough winter. i think good ole mother nature is making up for it by dumping loads of snow on us. it's cold (duh). But our heater still doesn't work, and our windows are still single-paned, and our walls are still thin. cold + snow + broken heater + california-natives = misery.

but we're making the most of it thanks to a frequent furry visitor and our little bun. 

Where'd bunny go? She was juz here.

hai. may i has some chocolate?

Tonight I realized that my camera is full of many many pictures of my little critter and the neighbor's kitty. And a bit of what I see outside the window by my desk. 

Mochi loooves giving kisses to her mama and papa.

And even though the recent weather has made Matt and I more home-bodied than normal, I'm so happy with the little things we get to enjoy every day. 

The other day...

I realized that the countdown can officially begin to the much anticipated day that we will become dog owners. In six months our lease will be up and we will be moving! Honestly, we can hardly contain our excitement. We've been digging through the interwebs at local breeders and shelters. We already have a name picked out, much like that time we had picked out Mochi's name months before we finally got her.

Speaking of the Moch, she has recently developed a gnarly double chin.

glorious. 

Stop.

I keep telling myself,

"when I graduate I'll have time to do ___________...

and this _______,

and this____________,

and definitely this ________!"

I think I need to put a stop to that. I need to stop letting myself be tired and lazying around the house after work, or lazying around all day on my day off. I need to get up and do all of those little things that I know will make me happy and keep me busy doing something fun. So cookbooks, crafts, photography, drawing, and painting, I'm bringing my A-game! We're going to have a fun year, and we're never going to let the things I love to do remain in my head. That creativity needs to be let out!